I regret turning my back on missed opportunities in order to assist souls in need as well as ultimately helping myself. Then I question, is it really up to me to determine when and where to offer guidance, or when to reflect upon myself. We wonder, we think, we cry, and we are angry, but we do learn no matter how painful. This is the process which goes on inside ourselves on a daily basis, over and over again as we contemplate our problems whether we do it consciously or subconsciously. It can be the problems of the world, or simply those problems which plaque us within our own existence. We question the futility and the seemingly endless doubt which rages within us. To what avail? Each day remains a reoccurrence to the day prior. While we continue to remain still wondering, still angry, and still with an empty feeling that proves nothing has been resolved. Though in our heart we know it has not been been a fruitless effort and though it feels empty we know the answers are still there waiting for us to perceive them. We know this because it is what we feel, yes, what we feel, that there is something so much more for us. We have been a part of the answer, and without doubt we know this has always been the case. This feeling, this thing which we cannot comprehend but know so well. In the stillness, it exists while we struggle in pain wondering and finally in anger, still wondering. This stillness which we overlook because we are too busy being angry, or crying, or crowding our minds with thoughts of all the wrong things. If we but silence ourselves for just a while we may be able to get a glimmer of what it is we seek. This fleeting wisp of a thought that will reveal all to us. And yet, it will come to us with hardly any effort at all. Just by putting aside those distractions that have been blinding us from what is truly real, and what we have been seeking all along. That thing which we feel has been beyond our reach, but is in fact no further from us than ourselves.
We desire that our preferences are shared; we turn them into demands on each other. We want others to have the same strengths and weaknesses as we do.
FAITH
We need faith, as we need to believe. We need to feel in such a way so our belief will manifest into something real, something touchable. We need this to be so we can convince ourselves to open our our hearts to each other. In our minds we can then begin to care about ourselves, and one another. It does not matter what creed or even which doctrine proclaims your faith. It is the essence of the feeling which will TOUCH our hearts. A community of hearts.
Look at each with a conscious awareness and act from the prospective you gain. If you continue to dwell on matters over and over, you will simply continue to be frustrated. And sadly be left feeling empty.
page 22.
Where is the Truth?
We live in a world of cycles, and as such our innermost self is confined by our outward perceptions. We tend to limit our innermost capacity to whatever cycle our character personality has submitted itself to, though we do this unknowingly most of the time. We awaken each day usually with the leftover baggage from the day before but with new perceptions infiltrating our mind in a most rapid style. We are consumed before we can even begin to set ourselves steadfastly on a new path towards clarity. It may be as simple as how weather climatic conditions play havoc with our bodies. It may be concerns over a loved one trapping our thoughts in an endless pattern of worry. It may be thoughts of doubt, and how those thoughts have bound us so tightly it blinds us in visions of despair. The of course there are money worries bringing with it the stomach and head pains. Pains throughout the body binding and restricting us in such a way that we feel we will perish never having known the truth of it all. But still we persist, we do not give in, or let go.
Somehow in someway we still can perceive there is a glimmer of truth. A reason why and where seeking to lead us. We may stumble many times in our clumsy way, but still we press on determined and angry in our need to know, to learn what it is that drives us so hard. The need to know being the point of it all. We are willing to suffer, and blunder our way through threat after threat. Willing to take all that is thrown in our way. Trapping us, and binding us to our fear and doubt knowing that we must cast off our insecurities and accept the strength that knowledge offers to us as recompense for our suffering. Knowledge that will lead us to greater wisdom. And, as the light of wisdom begins to dawn upon us, we will feel the power growing within us. We now can take what is ours.
Regardless of our thinking, our despair, we must always remember that despite our confusion our higher selves are always present. Our higher selves are as close to us as our next thought. Our next need. No matter what the crisis, regardless of the anger or despair, we but need to stop for a moment, just for a moment and ask, no, demand for the higher self to come forth and stop all of the chaos. Stop the fear, stop the doubt, and stop the anger. Then we will see that it may be for just a moment, or maybe an awakening of spirit. It will bring a peace that we need. A clarity of the heart.
Doubt
There is a tendency of identifying with ones emotions rather than personal inner spiritual strength. Self-doubt becomes the cause of much despair and unnecessary pain. We seek solace through prayer hoping it will bring to us the peace we so greatly need. But we must realize that prayer is usually a passion prompted by despair when expressed in an innocent state of mind. Passion without logic or knowledge is something we feel but do not know what it is we are really feeling which can lead to further delusion. There are those individuals who take the passion of prayer to extremes. These people can be of any religious persuasion and all seem to demonstrate physical manifestations as a result of the passionate plea of their prayers such as a stigmata and the like. The irony is the focus or representation of their prayers may not even be real or is a manufactured identity of a sacred being. This is a passion example in the extreme. Every faith has its miracles which are encouraged by the religious hierarchy so long as it benefits the faith.
